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Writer's picturethewifeylife

Differences in a relationship

Updated: Nov 4, 2020

I've always found the "Relationship talk" the most difficult topic for me to write about because I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist or in any position to give you advice about marriage or relationship life. I am still at the beginning stage of a newly married couple, although my husband and I have been together for more than 5 years, but everything takes time to justify, grow and learn.


However, I cannot take the "Relationship talk" topic out as it's literally a part of the wifey life and daily life. We live in a world engaged by relationships. Many different forms or types of relationships cannot be defined or categorised. As relationships are originated from feelings, and human's feelings are so complicated that we don't even understand or explain all, that makes every single relationship different.



Every relationship has ups and downs. Don't judge a book by its cover! Life is not a fairy tale. A happy ending needs hard work, huge effort and much patience - perhaps it takes a lifetime to learn and practice. I think it's normal to have good and bad days in a relationship, but when a relationship faces a storm, it'll take lots of courage of the heart and mind to move out of the storm as a team or alone.


A beginner like me has a long way to go but acknowledging the difficult road ahead helps me mentally prepare for it somehow. However, I don't really want the "Relationship talk" to be pessimistic. It should be realistic, but still positive and give hope to people because being in love or relationship is also a wonderful feeling, too.


Differences in a relationship


Like I mentioned above that I think every relationship is different because everyone is different. We all have different appearances, characters and personalities. When you fall in love with someone, you fall for the differences which attract you. Of course, a relationship should share some common grounds of the same interests; but at the same time, it also needs the differences to keep the excitement and curiosity towards each other.


That positive trait of having differences in a relationship will only last when both or at least one person is still patient and willing to learn the differences of each other. If not, then differences will just create more distances in between. Talking about patience, it seems like a difficult quality to practice in today's fast-paced world. Therefore, dealing with differences in a relationship is not easy, especially couples with different nationalities as they also face the gap of cultural differences.



Dealing with differences


Every couple will have their own ways of sorting out the differences to move forward if both still want to stay together. Some couples will have an open conversation about it, some will address and argue, but some will stay silent and try to close eyes to it. No matter what way it is, it's your choice of problem-solving. Depending on the level of the relationship or the right timing, you can choose to talk about it or not; but make sure that your choice won't leave you any regret.


It's hard to give a specific way of dealing with differences in a relationship when we are outsiders of each other's relationships. However, I think whichever way you choose, it should contain and convey these qualities, to overcome challenges and move forward.

  1. RESPECT - Both should respect the differences of each other.

  2. PATIENCE - Both should be patient towards each other.

  3. LISTEN - Both should listen to each other.

  4. ACCEPT - Both should accept that nobody's perfect.

  5. ENCOURAGE - Both should motivate and compliment each other.

  6. FORGIVE - Both should forgive when the other is wrong.

  7. LOVE - Both should continue learning to love each other.

These are ideal qualities to heal, recharge and help a relationship overcome challenges; but I honestly find it so hard to do sometimes. Self-motivation and self-care will be the helping tools to get you there as everything needs a balance. You cannot serve from an empty cup, so don't forget to love yourself, too.


Differences in a relationship are normal and a MUST to test the limit of yourself as well as the love of your relationship. Not only being in a relationship pampers you, but also gives you a chance to grow and develop together in the practice of self-control, love and balance.



Conclusion


Perfect relationships don't exist in this world. Every relationship has challenges and difficulties. Some relationships come and end, some come and stay, but the one can last is the-not-giving-up-one. The one that can practice 7 qualities above through difficult times.



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